Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Praying for Rain

Alright!!! OK I need some motivation from my blogging buddies!! It's coming up that time of year again and I am trying to focus on the business of living and not grieving over Savannah!! It's not that I don't grieve, but now it doesn't consume me. I have done really good and then the Monopoly game came out for McDonalds and my brain shifted towards that grief. Weird,
I know but for me it is sequences of events that I know happen every year. Monopoly @Mc Donalds, Halloween, Drew's Birthday Nov 2, Savannah's Birthday November 8th. This is the post I wrote 2 weeks before I had her-and this point we had no idea she had any problems.

Alright, due to my insanity of being about 4 weeks away from having a baby I have began participating in the McDonald's Monopoly game. I don't really like McDonalds yet I have managed to go there more often than I would care to mention. The hilarious thing is that I truly believe I could win that 5 million dollars, and all my problems would be solved and new ones would surely arise. The conspiracy is that McDonalds gives everyone 3 out of the 4 Railroads, and now everyone is searching for that dang Short Line!! I don't care if I am 9 months pregnant I would fight my older brother for that Railroad!! LOL (because I know he is playing) Let me give you an example: I have managed to rope my normally level headed husband into the insanity! Yesterday, I call him about 5pm from our home phone and he begins the conversation with "I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU OWN A CELL PHONE WHEN YOU NEVER ANSWER IT!" (By the way he never calls me!!) A little taken a back I said "excuse me?" He asked " What Railroad do you need? I said What? He said What Railroad do you need? Not remembering I said B&O and he proceeded to go on like a 5 min rant about how he saw a B&O railroad on the counter at the Midway McDonald's and he didn't want to pick it up if I already had it, I never answer my phone, and he was almost home and how mad he was at me because he did not pick up the small little piece of sticky paper on the counter at the Midway McDonalds. Soooo, what is my first instinct? I start laughing!! I said Are you kidding me? Which made him even more angry because I have now lost HIM 5 million dollars!! After he hung up on me I ran through the house and found the monopoly board only to find that I needed Short line not B&O!!! So, I ran back to the phone and called to assure my normally level headed husband that I had not lost him 5 million dollars!! See maybe my question is how was that my fault? LOL What would have been the problem for him to just pick up the little game piece and stick in his pocket? I need to have this baby or win 5 million dollars that's all I'm saying! I Hate McDonalds!! LOL

It's a funny blog- I still laugh because I remember how funny it was when it happened, but I feel like we were so oblivious to the life changing events that were getting ready to happen to us. I have worked really, really hard to keep going - but somedays there is a push to keep going. Sometimes it feels like the flu, and sometimes it feels like hormonal depression. So, January of last year I started on Weight Watchers and I am like 35 lbs down, and I want more off, but getting through this time I pray I don't start eating again!! So again I ask for you to pray for my sweet family during this time and give me a shout out!! I NEED IT!! LOL


Anonymous said...

LOL, I instantly thought about your McDonald's blog when I heard it was that time of year too and honestly busted my gut in the car.

I know I don't possess the right words or have the right understanding to help what your going through but I pray for you often and will continue to ask him to give you peace even if it's through grief. As you well know He is bigger than us.

Remember all the good times he's given you before and after. Think of all the blessings too. You have one of the greatest family's on the planet and know he has huge plans for you.

You're before and after pictures amaze me! I see you so much that it's hard to remember how far you've come. Keep that and mind through these next couple of weeks. Make realistic goals and you'll come out on top.

If you need me you know my phone's always on for you and that includes non PTA buisness stuff.

I love you. Amber

in my world of five said...

We love you guys! Hang in there. God is watching out for you.

Gavin's Mama said...

Just know you are thought of daily!!

We can always have a date at Marble Slab-this time on purpose, not meeting for the first time... they have fat free-we can share!

So sorry you are dealing with the mixed emotions of loosing a child, I wish I understood and could take away all of your pain!!

Praying for you!

Erin said...

I think about you a lot and pray for you often. I'll being praying for God to wrap you in peace and comfort during this time.

Laura said...

I know you don't really know me. I see you at preschool all the time. Your Savannah and my Hope were born just a few short weeks apart. My daughter too was born with a CHD. I just remember after getting the news about her, I was talking to Mrs Kim from the LLA. SHe was asking about how Hope was and about what we were facing and she told me about you and Savannah. I , to this day think about you a lot. And how its not fair why some babies make it through and some don't. I just want you to know that you and your family are in my prayers. I am truely sorry for your loss. I pray for your strength to get through this rough time. Knowing Savannah's up in heaven running around playing I hope puts your mind at ease. God bless you!

Keep up the good work on your weight loss. It's a tough rode but you can do it!